NOBODY KNOWS THE TROUBLE I'VE SEEN

SOME OF GENE SEEN THROUGH

PAINTINGS - PHOTOS - MUSIC

As time goes by

COMING TO CONCLUSIONS

The Autobiography of Peter Tristan Stuart

by

Gene C. McCoy

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The secret of life is to have a task, something you devote your entire life to, something you bring everything to, every minute of your whole life. And the most important thing - it must be something you cannot possibly do.

Henry Moore, as told to Donald Hall

Foreword

I am not the first writer to pen an autobiography of another person. I think it was done by Gertrude in Paris some time ago. She wrote about Alice, but so what? Hemingway wrote about Pamplona, and so did Gene McCoy, or was it Pete Stuart? No, Pamplona was about Pete Stuart in Pamplona with Birgitta. Anyway, I think you get my drift.

Coming to Conclusions is almost an autobiography and in its essence I have been faithful to my perception of reality; it is true, but some of the vignettes have been airbrushed to a heightened reality. I cannot imagine that anyone would want to read the autobiography of Gene Charles McCoy, nor Peter Tristan Stuart for that matter, without a little bit of airbrushing in of literary license. It would be a chronicle of failure, mediocrity, missed opportunities, loneliness, and despair . Even with the heightened reality these aspects of a lesser reality still come through, but everything in the story, even when embellished, has its roots in truth. Some of the names of the people have been changed, but the most important characters in every case have their flesh and blood counterparts in truth. Thus, it is not quite an autobiography, but neither is it a novel. It is a memoir.

It is sad that someone did not whisper Henry Moore's secret to life in my ear at the start of my journey; I might have come to different conclusions; I might have been a contender. For most of my life I did not have that all absorbing task that Moore mentions, but I seemed to have been searching for it. Now, with Plato's admonition that "The life which is unexamined is not worth living," the examination of my life by the writing of this memoir has become my task. I hope that by writing my story I might seef my life in its totality as the dynamic expression of hope and creativity, and thus glean some insight into the truth of my existence to answer the question, "Who am I?"

I could go to a psychotherapist tell him or her what it was like, what happened and what it is like now, then he or she could interpret me to me, tell me, you are feeling/thinking thus and so, but those would be his or her conclusions about me, wouldn't they? Or, I could go to a Twelve Step sponsor, tell him what it was like, etc., and he would tell me thus and so. Those would be his conclusions about my experience. I have decided that I must come to my own conclusions about what my life was like, what happened, and what it is like now; what, if anything, it all meant - what it was and is all about.

There is also the possibility that Coming to Conclusions might one day serve to help my children and grandchildren come to their conclusions, find themselves; if there is any truth to the notion that psychological troubles are a family disease, then one day some of my descendants may be writing their own "fourth steps" in some 12 Step program as they search for the source of their problems, discontent and unhappiness in, among other places, Gene's genes.

AS TIME GOES BY.... AS TIME GOES BY....

"Manu Forti"

Hi, my name is Gene. I live here, and I'm trudging the road of happy destiny...... "Earthlights" - NASA, November, 2000 First brush with history - One week old......First Car.... First day in California -With paternal grandparents October 1933......Dad, Mom, Gramma McCoy, Mammy (Mom's Mom)My Dad about 1940..With Mom about 1936.... First Grade - Doran School, Glendale, California...From boy to man.... ........Sailor .... "First International Adventure" - Japan, December,1945.... ........Soldier - First full-time job - First Fighter Group - 94th Fighter Squadron 1946-49 ... Veterans - Buddies Al and Larry.. "Mustering Out Pay" - '47 Ford..Where we hung outSister Betty......Wawy, Laurie and Drew - 1958Laurie and Drew born 1956 - '58; this in 1961, Madrid .... "Nighthawks" - Edward Hopper .... "Drinking alone" - Gene Appointed Foreign Service Officer - July 1961..Arrive Madrid - September,1961.. "Jaleo" - Madrid, 1961 .... .. Sevillano - 1963.... .. "Roman Toilet" - Leptis Magna, Libya, July, 1962 ....Italy 1962..Going to Pamplona 1963....Pamplona - been there done that - 1963.. Going home from Pamplona Manuscript of lights... Torrevieja 1963...Torrevieja "Fresh fish" - Unknown German artist, Calpe, October 1963.... Laurie, Malibu 1964 .. "Calpe Remembered" - Gene ........Mexico revisited Embassy Officer with Bank of Mexico Executives - 1965.... Tequesquitengo, Mexico - 1964...... Drew 1966 Mexico City.... Zijuatanejo Wedding Reception September 16, 1966 - Mexico City. "Mogadishu" - Gene, 1967............ Somali scenes - 1967....Christine - 1968, Mogadishu.... .............. .... .... .... ........Punto Carnero Closed....Fernando....Sean and Chris 1976 Chris about 30Sean about 10 "Cosmic Kiss Under Desert Sun" - Soledad Benalcazar, 1973.... Consultant - writer - gaming agent 1973-'76Mola - Kuna Indians, San Blass, Panama, 1975... Marina REDEMPTION! - February, 1977.... Cairo.... "Dacca rickshaw puller" - Alice Hyde, 1977.... Dacca Scenes 1977-'79..Wedding with Vicki April 1979 "Dacca Souk" - Pacita Abad, 1977 .... "Woman in Dacca Souk" - Pacita Abad, 1977 .... "Yeti Poster" - Kahtmandu, April 1979.... "El Gesto" - Raul Vasquez, San Jose, 1980 .... San Jose Scenes - 1980 "Gene" - Dennis Moran, San Jose. 1980.... Mogadishu revisited - 1980...... A new beginning - 1982 "African village" - Accra, November, 1983.... Makonde, Nairobi, 1967,.... Bronze bull. Senegal, 1983.... Fertility carving, Accra, 1983..Laurie and David 1984... "Traffic" - Gene .... San Simeon..."Leffingwell's Landing" - Art Van Rhyn, Cambria .... "The Seachest" - Jean Merriam (BG,Art Van Rhyn) Cambria 1988 .... "Big Sur in the fog" - Gene .... "Big Sur" - Fr. Peter Belisle ....The end of the season.. "Really the end" - Gene, Jean, Art Cambria "Monument Valley" - Gene, Navajo Nation.... "Sonoran Twilight" - Yvonne Cador, Mexico ...... .. "Mojave Winter"... "Yuccas on Spirit Mountain" - Karen Sandquist, Searchlight "Eagle" - Stella Marie Marchand, Searchlight .... 400x400 Spacer GIF..... 40x100 Spacer GIF....... ..... 40x100 Spacer GIF..... September 11, 2001.... .... "Angry Flagheads" - Gene, 9/11/2001.... .... Just in case an Islamist happens to stumble on to this page ...."Remedios in her kitchen" - St. Jude thrift shop, 1990.... "Remedios in remodeled kitchen" - 2002 The deCalpe Twins - Remedios y Socorro - 2002.... ....Sean, Chris and Regina at wedding - June 2002........ .....See below for link to continuation after I became an artist

GO TO CONTINUATION AFTER I BECAME AN ARTIST



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Gene McCoy © October 2002

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